{"id":474,"date":"2023-03-29T16:36:41","date_gmt":"2023-03-29T20:36:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/?p=474"},"modified":"2025-09-21T11:43:32","modified_gmt":"2025-09-21T15:43:32","slug":"growing-thru-rejection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/rehearsal-club\/growing-thru-rejection\/","title":{"rendered":"GROWING THRU REJECTION"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I remember a lawyer friend of ours getting let go from his job and he said he had nightmares about not passing the bar exam — until he found another job! He marveled at us, being in the unstable business of “show,” living with and growing, thriving even, thru every rejection.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

In my youth, every door I knocked on seemed to open up. Broadway? Yeah! Been there\/done that! Actually, fired from my first Broadway Show (that’s another story), but I went on to do others — even bigger and better classics! So, I grew past that first childhood sting. Getting fired. Shows closing. You get used to it in show business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

National name in Television? Yeah! Been there\/done that — and — when everyone knows your name and you get fired? That’s an even longer — and more public — failure (see my History Lessons<\/a> 1, 2 & 3 for the full account). I did NOT, however, go on to do other television projects so . . . no. I have not fully recovered from that sting. I have, however, grown through that rejection. How? Where did I end up that put the mirror up to me? Who was I really? Young, yes. Pretty, yes. Loved by the “fans?” Yes. But who was I? Really?<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Lesson #1: Nurture your true friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all need friends, right? And when you start at the bottom meeting others who are languishing at the bottom; or digging ditches (metaphorically speaking) with you; those may just turn out to be the lifelong friends who don’t care if you’re a national name or not. My friends before fame were my friends after fame. My husband stayed and supported and talked me down from climbing the walls when I needed it.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Lesson #2: Know and Recognize Your “Enoughness”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is big for actors. You can learn technique. You can have fabulous headshots and demo reel, but if your mindset is off? Casting smells it. Musta happened to me. I was young. I was trained. I was nailing auditions (I lost to Yale graduates). I just could not get cast again. Wow. What is going on here? At this point I had two babies to feed so sticking with “unstable” was not an option anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sub-lesson: Listen to your mother!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mine made sure I could type. And when computers came along, I learned how to get a letter out of a second-hand one I bought on the street just so I’d get paid $3 more per hour! Eventually I ended up in a law firm. Now THAT job taught me my “enoughness.” They didn’t care if I was pretty. They didn’t care if I could charm the birds out of the trees. If I couldn’t produce a perfect brief in time for the courts, I was gone. I watched many a lovely little thing last a week or so. Gone. I was there twelve years. They raised my family with security and let me off for every graduation and\/or sick day. Plus, they paid me more than I had ever earned before and matched my IRA every year! Wow. Great job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then my boss (Senior Partner for over a decade) died of cancer. Same thing happened in that high-profile television job actually. However, I was able to deal with this transition a whole lot better. I knew my “enoughness.” I knew what I could bring to the table. I know my worth.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Lesson #3: Nurture your Network<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we age, we gather quite a lovely group of business associates. Talent lies everywhere! Watching my own daughters grow into their “enoughness” was just about as good a lesson any mother needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I hit corporate “retirement” age and left the law firm, what was I to do with all these newly acquired skills?? The world of theater had changed. Social media was taking over, and I knew very little about any of it. Another girlfriend, also a former actress, and I started to join and volunteer our skills to our theatrical unions and other theatrical organizations in NYC. Being so computer literate, I started delving into “testing” social media.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wow. That national name I had? Fans remembered me! How nice is that after all these years? No idea where that would go, but hey, at least I wasn’t forgotten on the cutting room floor! So, I continued nurturing my little\/large network of fans and friends, building and nurturing my world — for what? I had no idea.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Lesson #4: Open That Door of Opportunity<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does opportunity even look like when it presents itself? I kind of equate it to meeting my husband. Even tho my mother (and most of Broadway) thought our affair at such a young age was “wrong,” it just felt “right.” We just celebrated our Golden Anniversary, so I guess we did something “right.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I was asked in 2006 if I’d ever lived at The Rehearsal Club, I said “Yeah, but who cares, it’s gone, right?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast forward to today. Following up on what that question might offer — and what I might be able to contribute along the way, has resulted in our publishing “Cinderellas of West 53rd Street: Stories from the Legendary Rehearsal Club.” It all started because I and few others wanted to write our early stories while living at The Rehearsal Club. The journey to publication has been a lot like my life! Lots of rejection along the way, but I stayed the course, using all those skills I’d learned at the law firm to lead our women to where we are now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Lesson #5: Savor the Victory<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’ve ever auditioned and got the job, you know the feeling. Success! What a delicious feeling!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Savor it. You earned it. But know that the work has only just begun. Yes, we’re publishing a book, but who cares? Who even knows what The Rehearsal Club was before it closed in 1979? Welllll, I’ll tell ya. The brick-and-mortar building may have been destroyed, but the friendships made in the trenches lasted. See Lesson #1.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Sign up for my newsletters and visit our Cinderella Center<\/a> to stay up on the latest info!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I remember a lawyer friend of ours getting let go from his job and he said he had nightmares about not passing the bar exam — until he found another job! He marveled at us, being in the unstable business of “show,” living with and growing, thriving even, thru every rejection. In my youth, every door I knocked on seemed to open up. Broadway? Yeah! Been there\/done that! Actually, fired from my first Broadway Show (that’s another story), but I went on to do others — even bigger and better classics! So, I grew past that first childhood sting. Getting \u2026<\/p>\n

Continue reading<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":[],"categories":[19],"tags":[53,52,51],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/474"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=474"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/474\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":489,"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/474\/revisions\/489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/denisepence.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}