With the aid of social networking, the gypsy world of theater/film/tv, and even the cyber-coffee conversations on Twitter, it seems everyone’s circle of friends has widened. In spite of the many celebrations we’re able to intimately share, with age I’m sadly watching my more intimate circle of friends — those who’s light and laughter sparkles in my mind long after our physical visits together — diminish. How do most of us process the loss? Is there a lesson for those of us left behind?
The Big C was one of my favorite series. Laura Linney and those writers made me laugh and cry at the same time. How does one do that in real life with another friend bravely battling the Big P (Parkinson); or the many we continue to walk the walk for battling the Big A (Aids)?
When my boss from Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler LLP was diagnosed with the Big C, keeping it a secret from the whole firm, including his alter-ego/secretary — me — I noticed how much more humane he became that year. He knew, of course, that I had one foot out the door the whole time PBW&T supported me and my family, and that last year of his life he opened doors of theatrical opportunity for me I had never even considered. The photo above is from the dress rehearsal of the Circle of Friends performance he financed through Dancers Over 40. His daughter, an aspiring actress (Rebecca Harris, holding the rose in the photo below), danced and sang with a Broadway community of friends that came together for one night only to benefit a dear friend dying from a brain tumor. We made some amazing memories that night.
I created the logo from a shot I took of Kyo Mineo while teaching a Fosse Workshop. Her husband John, who’s been our friend since we met in my first Broadway show, “The Rothschilds,” and their son, Aren (age 12) came in from Japan to perform with us. Note the signature derby?
Since then I’ve produced a series of projects, each to help inspire the creation of the original “Good Girls Only” Rehearsal Club Musical — yes — but also to celebrate the talent of so many fabulous friends — before it’s too late to say “I love you!”
This month, MORE Magazine’s Editor-In-Chief, Lesley Jane Seymour, wrote a letter to her readers entitled “When Life Comes Full Circle.” For her, a random freelance assignment brought her back to where she’d started as a cub reporter and inspired her to write about the loops in her life that allowed her past to live again in the present. For me, news that yet another dear friend will soon succumb to the Big C, made me immediately think “Thank God I produced and she performed in that show last year and we have that memory to treasure!”
Know what I automatically just did? According to MORE Magazine, July/August 2014, I “hardwired my mind to be happy” — in the face of devastating news. Which inspired me to write this blog.
My response is substantiated by the findings of neuropsychologist, Rick Hanson, PhD, founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neurosciences and Contemplative Wisdom. Judy Jones, MORE writer, continues to elaborate on a 3-minute per day exercise so you, too, can learn to rewire your brain to choose a better way to process chaos and achieve happiness in your own lives. Now if we could just find the cure for the Big C, the Big P and the Big A, we wouldn’t need a Silver Linings Playbook to hardwire our brains to happiness.
Moving forward, I promise to live my life mindfully present, forever grateful and not sweating the small stuff. Pet lovers will relate here: Goodbye Old Friend, Hello New One